When we think of domestic abuse what usually comes to mind is physical violence, the kind alluded to in such songs as "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks and "Independence Day" by Martina McBride. While physical abuse is an important element of an abusive relationship there are other tell tale signs that don't necessarily leave a mark.

Yolanda B. Jimenez, commissioner of the NYC Mayor's Office to Combat Domestic Violence recently spoke on the subject with Women's Health Magazine.

 --Your Partner Isolates You from Family and Friends. Abusive behaviors oftentimes come down to control. One way an abuser might wield it: by dictating who you see and separating you from the people you care about.
--Your Partner Finds Fault in Everything You Do. “Putting you down and making you feel broken, threatened, and even intimidated,” says Jimenez, is another way an abuser might try to show he or she is in charge. “If you’re told every day that you’re no good, that you’re worthless, you start to believe that.”
--Your Partner Keeps Tabs on You. A partner who checks in on you frequently might just be considerate. “But it’s not healthy when someone is trying to control your every move on any given day and wanting to know where you are at every juncture,” says Jimenez. “It’s not normal in a relationship for someone to say, ‘Where were you at 10? Where were you at 11? What did you do at 12? Who did you see? Who did you talk to?”

(Women's Health Magazine)

There are many more signs of an abusive relationship and the sooner they are noted the better the chance to escape the situation and seek help.The YWCA of the Mohawk Valley has a 24-hour domestic violence hotline as does the State of New York.
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