If You Plan to Do This at Your New York Wedding–Don’t.

Let's start with the obligatory 'no judgement zone'. And continue with the fact that weddings are expensive af. Especially for the bride. Hair and makeup can cost upwards of $500 or more. And the dress. Need we even discuss how costly finding 'the dress' can be? Could be hundreds. Could be thousands. The perfect venue? Often tens and twenties of thousands. The scrumptious cake? The one with the density of a pound cake and the froufrou fillings, piled onto 3 or more layers and adorned with flowers-- that is designed as the literal centerpiece for the reception? $500 on the low end and much, much, much more on the high end.

So where in the h-e-double hockey sticks did the tradition of the 'cake smash' come from?! It LITERALLY ruins at least 4 of the 5 things I just mentioned in one fell swoop and potentially the thing that's supposed to come after the wedding too.

You know, the marriage.

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According to this The Guardian article titled, 'The cake smash: a messy, raucous wedding trend that suggests trouble ahead'

The cake smash is meant to be a lovely, playful tradition. It’s getting pretty popular too, especially on TikTok: the #cakesmash hashtag has had more than 449m views...(BUT) According to Dr Becky Spelman, a nonconsensual wedding cake smash could spell trouble for the couple’s future. “The act could potentially highlight issues related to control, disrespect, or disregard for boundaries,” she told metro.co.uk.

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So why do we do this? Where did this nutty "tradition" even come from? Whell. It was an olden days Roman tradition where barley cake was crumbled over the bride's head for "good luck" and "fertility" or some such. But then, as all things do, it morphed into something else.

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And for the record, according to this Metro article, Avoid at all costs’: Why the wedding cake smash trend could spell an unhappy marriage

On a Reddit thread where industry workers shared their wedding day red flags, one photographer wrote: ‘I swear that all of the couples that have split up have smashed the cake in their significant other’s face.'

The same article reports that one bride they interviewed called it quits on the spot.

Listen. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I just know that "find out" always comes after "f--- around."

Good luck out there.