More than twice as many people die each year by suicide in New York than by homicide. One central New York mother almost saw her daughter among those statistics, until she stepped in.

The mom, who wishes to remain anonymous shared her heart wrenching story to raise awareness and hopefully help save others from losing a loved one to suicide.

The nightmare began several years ago when her daughter was diagnosed with a rare and chronic physical condition. "She was a young child when she was diagnosed and as she matured it became harder for her to cope with. Life as a teenager brought even more stress and anxiety. Then with the desire to fit in and cope with typical teenage pressures quickly became overwhelming."

I read in disbelief as heartbreak and fear consumed me. "It said, "I’m sorry; I just can't go on living anymore. Mom, it's not your fault, I love you very much". I had no clue she was this desperate

The mother says her daughter transformed into someone she no longer knew. "Her behavior was bizarre and she acted as though she had zero control of herself. I scheduled an appointment with a counselor and she began regular sessions. She refused to talk and sat in silence with complete disregard to anything the counselor had to say. She became angry and with each passing day it seemed to consume her more and more."

Becoming frantic and wanting answers, the mother began to check her cellphone. "One day as I opened her pictures I was absolutely devastated at the images I found. Picture after picture of my daughter hurting herself. I was hysterical. I began looking and searching through everything in her room. I needed to know everything."

After discovering the photos and thinking it couldn't get any worse, the mother found a letter. "I read in disbelief as heartbreak and fear consumed me. "It said, "I’m sorry; I just can't go on living anymore. Mom, it's not your fault, I love you very much". I had no clue she was this desperate or that she had ever come close to having these types of thoughts."

The mother feels fortunate after finally being able to find the help her daughter desperately needed. "Because I didn’t give up and got her connected with a professional that could help her, I am so blessed to still have my daughter with me."

Some days are better than others but she says her daughter is still learning how to cope and understands she is not alone. "Unfortunately, other parents are dealing with similar experiences every day. People of all ages are affected with depression, anxiety and other extreme emotions without anyone knowing what they struggle with internally."

By sharing such a heartbreaking story, the mother hopes to raise awareness so anyone who might be faced with the same nightmare knows they aren’t alone and help is available. "If you know someone that is struggling, exhibiting signs of depression or suicide, show them you care and get them connected to treatment. Follow-up with them and let them know you are there for them and encourage them to use the resources that are available to them. You too can reach out and ask for help as the caregiver or friend. When a friend or loved one breaks a bone we get them medical attention. When a friend or loved one is distressed we should do the same thing, get them connected to treatment."

Her daughter also had a few words she wanted to share for anyone suffering from depression.

"I hope you can all find love within yourselves and can get out of this dark place you are in. I encourage you to get help or tell somebody. Suicide and self harm is not the way to go. I know you think it's the only way, I thought so to, but it isn't. Depression is tough, No matter what you are going through, just remember you can get through it. I believe in you."

Help is available 24/7 at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or online at

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