You dread it. There's that one relative. That one friend. That one co-worker.  Or maybe it's you. The "vent game" is strong. There seems to be a cloud of discontent looming, regardless of what is actually going on in their or your life. It turns out, you are not alone. We're all guilty of it. And there is a powerful reason to be aware of what complaining actually is and how to stop.


That reason?

A better quality of life. Better relationships. More Success. Well Being. And far more joy and maybe even some fun. We all could use more of the good stuff right? If you're asking how? We'll get to that.

But First,

 What is Complaining?

In the book, A Complaint Free World, the author Will Bowen refers to complaining as talking about things you don’t want, rather than things you do want (i.e. complaining, criticizing or gossiping).

What's Wrong With Getting Some Things Off My Chest?

Technically, nothing. But according to this article by Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries for Harvard Business Review:

Research shows that chronic complaining...has physiological effects. Through the repetition of bad, sad, mad and powerless feelings, the neurotransmitters in the brain can go through a neural “rewiring,” which reinforces negative thought patterns, making it easier for unhappy thoughts to repeat themselves and leaving little room for the more positive feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and well-being. A continuous cycle of negative thoughts may even cause damage to the hippocampus, the part of the brain used for problem solving and cognitive functioning. Over time, complainers become negativity addicts, attracted to the drama that comes with a complaining attitude.

What is NOT Complaining?

According to Will Bowen's book

It is NOT COMPLAINING to speak directly and only to someone who can resolve the issue you’re facing. Example: If there’s something wrong with your food at a restaurant, tell the server. That’s not complaining. Example: If your computer freezes and you call tech support, you’re not complaining. Griping to other people who cannot improve your situation about your bad restaurant experience or how your computer is a piece of junk — that’s complaining.

In Part 2, we'll go over the 5 main reasons why people complain.

New York's 14 Best Lakes For Swimming

What makes a great swimming hole? Pristine waters, great beaches, mild temps, shallow waters, lifeguards, and more are many of the characteristics that are common in AZ Animals 14 best lakes for swimming in the state of New York. From just outside the city, to the Finger Lakes, to the heart of the Adirondack Mountains, these are your must-visit swimming holes for summer 2023!

Things You Will Find at a New York Night Market

It is hard to say exactly what you will find at a Night Market because the variety of items is vast and unusual. One thing is for sure the group that comes together for these annual Hudson Valley New York night markets makes sure to have something for everyone. From candles to jewelry to antique oddities, you are bound to find something you want to buy.

These Are the 12 Biggest Shopping Malls in Upstate New York

The size of the enclosed malls of Upstate New York covers a whole range of numbers. You have several large malls with between 50-100 stores, and then you have several behemoth malls which host much more than that. For example, #12 on this list has 55 stores and has been open for more than 50 years. Sounds like a pretty respectable mall, doesn't it? Compare that to the #2 on this list which is so large it has more than 18,000 parking spaces!

In this gallery, we have also mentioned some of the original anchor stores for these malls dating back to when they opened. It is fun to hear the old names like Sibley's, Filenes, McCurdy's, and G. Fox and Company again. Here are the 12 largest enclosed malls in Upstate New York. (We include all regions of Upstate including the upper and lower Hudson Valley. This list does not reflect the large malls of metropolitan New York City or Long Island).

More From Big Frog 104