My Favorite Infomercials-Matt’s Top 5
January 31, 2012 4:40 AM Every Sunday morning at the gym I am faced with 20-30 TV monitors featuring the usual Sunday morning lineup of news programs, religious services and–my favorite–infomercials. The infomercials range from exercise programs to get rich quick schemes to old TV show DVD's. Here are a few of my favorites.
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Brazil Butt Lift
Bottoms Up
The only butt lifting I have ever done was when I was in the army and had to pick up discarded cigarettes. However it seems that raising the derriere has become an important part of an overall workout program. My favorite part is the “pencil test” at the end where one has to place a pencil between the upper leg and bottom of the “cheek” to see if it holds or not. High drama.
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Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts
When Stars Were Stars
I remember watching these shows back in the 70's. The rostrum was filled with familiar names like Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, Jimmy Stewart and Orson Welles along with “newcomers” such as Billy Crystal and Flip Wilson. They weren't politically correct by any stretch but to this day I almost fall off the treadmill laughing whenever I see this infomercial selling the DVD's.
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Dean Graziosi's “Be A Real Estate Millionaire”
Get Rich Today
Dean Graziosi is a self proclaimed real estate expert who professes to specialize in buying foreclosed and “distressed” properties and then re-selling them for a nice profit. Personally, I don't like the idea of making money at the expense of someone else's misery but to each his own. The problem I have with this infomercial is that Dean is seen driving around searching for bargains while looking at the camera instead of the road. Dangerous Dean, dangerous.
Dual Action Colon Cleanse
In With the New, Out With the Old
I have a hunch that running these colon cleanse infomercials on Sunday mornings right after millions of people have just finished breakfast is no coincidence. Having just had their fill of eggs, hash browns and sausages having a colon cleanse sounds like a pretty good idea. Not necessarily. There is a lot of beneficial bacteria in your gizzards that would go out with the other stuff. Klee Irwin, by the way, also hawks vitamins and something called “Libido-Max”. More on that some other time.
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Insanity
Don't Quit!
“Insanity” is a workout program that is aimed–I hope– at the under 40 crowd. Actually I know a couple of people, younger than I, who swear by it. The only problem I have with it is when they show the people doing a workout routine that would kill the average person they are all smiling. I look around the gym and NO ONE is smiling. Workouts aren't fun time. At least for me they're not.
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