It was just announced that Governor Andrew Cuomo is NOT coming to Utica as planned. What's his excuse this time? We decided to help him come up with a solid excuse why he can't come to town.

5) The Taste Of Utica Club Reminds Him Of His Last Hangover

It's no secret, Utica Club is amazing. If you drink too much, it causes hangovers. The Governor wants to avoid the pain, and smells, of a possible hangover.

 

4) He Realized The State Fair Grounds Are In Syracuse And Not Utica

The Governor is a big fan of the State Fair. He forgot that the fairgrounds are in Syracuse, and not Utica. When he originally planned this trip, he thought he'd fill up on fair sausage and cotton candy. He was bummed out his only options were ice cream in Utica.

 

3) Cumo Thought FrogFest Was In March And Not June

When Tad and Polly made the announcement that Chris Janson was coming to town, the Governor got all excited. He was already planning to go crazy at FrogFest 29. The only problem, he assumed it was at the end of March and not June 10th at the Utica Rome Speedway. You know what happens when you assume right?

 

2) The Fact Jelly Bun Month Isn't In March

The Governor is a massive fan of Jelly Buns, everyone in New York knows that. This past week the Governor realized that Jelly Bun month is February, not March. Aids to the Governor informed him he could get Jelly Buns year round, but Cumo was mad. "WHY CAN'T IT BE YEAR ROUND?"

 

1) He Was Mad His Pet Dog Ate His Nano Utica Address

Cumo wrote a big speech at home for Central New York. The only problem, his dog ate the part that mentioned when NANO was actually happening. He tried to piece the speech back together after walking the dog, but could only make out the phrase "something something something NANO."

 

This post is an attempt at comedy of course. 


BONUS VIDEO